notyourutopian | IC Contact: Recollé

IC Contact: Recollé

Eleanor Lamb

Hello you've reached Eleanor Lamb's voicemail. I'd explain what's next but I can't imagine you don't know what to do at the beep.

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[She sighed, the sound of slumping against something audible before she spoke again.]

We used skype a lot, so we saw each other... but our worlds have been spreading farther the last six months. It's been more and more stressful. I'm sad... It hurts, but I can't be mad at her for making the choice. [She sighed and gripped her forehead.]

And it's just like her to be this ... final about it. I just don't know what to do right now.

[Eleanor was supposed to have good advice here wasn't she. Well shit. She's quiet as Chloe talks, trying to figure out what she should say.]

I don't think there's much you can do, Chloe.

[No Eleanor that's not it.]

I mean, uh. I don't know, I'm bloody useless for advice considering my only long-term boyfriend was like, a few months but just...focus on other stuff, I guess?

You're right. I should... try to give myself a little rest. I don't think I'm really good at being single anymore, but... not yet. Get my mind off of it for a few weeks and try to see if I'm ready.

[She raked her fingers through her hair.] I just feel lost, and I don't want to be alone... and losing her makes me know how alone I felt, is all. I feel a little bad for even thinking of that... but you already know my heart's been wandering lately. It kind of makes it sting more, in a way.

Being single isn't that hard. [Eleanor snickered.] Trust me.

[She sighed.]

Well, maybe it's...I hesitate to say a good thing, but...a change. Sometimes change feels terrible but works out in the long run. Even if we don't enjoy it at the time.

Maybe... three years is a long time to suddenly be outside of one. But... [She sighed and raked her hand through her hair.] This isn't changing today. I'm not going to do something so foolish today.

If I ask someone, I don't want them to feel like it is a rebound. I want... I want to be over this, to accept this first, and to be ok with myself. I need [She shuddered a little.] I need to get to where I feel ok with just being me.

Thank you, Eleanor.

Probably helps to take some time for you, you know? You might discover you like a bit of solitude. I know I do.

[There's a bit of an audible shrug there.]

Hey, sure. I can do reassuring when I have to.